Poltical Manifesto

I know people who believe being patriotic means listening to all the messages the media sends us.  It means embracing capitalism in its current form, enjoying steak and potatoes and apple pie and supporting any big business because after all, corporations are so American.

I know people that are afraid to say what they really want to say when it comes to politics because they fear the repercussions on their career, status and circle of friends.  I felt fooled into that role for a minute and then I remembered what it was to be an American in the light of this mass movement: Occupy Wall Street.

Being American means you have a right to an opinion, a voice and the right to protest your government when you believe they are wrong. 

I’m not going to pretend to be intimately involved with the movement.  I’m not and in fact, only recently have I begun to pay attention.  What’s so unique about this movement is that it’s not a movement based on a single issue, but rather on the greater discontent of society as a whole.  It’s a multi-generational movement and yet I can understand those Gen Yers out there the most.

I was born in 1984.  I came of age in a period of disillusionment.  I have few friends that didn’t owe at least 15 grand by the time they were 22 and shot into the “real world” without much cushioning and consistent calls from loan collectors.  I was born into a world of shifting powers and globalization all of which contributed to my worldview.

This however, does not hinder my vision of the world I’d like to live in.  I thought I would breathe some life into this vision and share it with you.  Rather than say what is wrong with society, which I think we have a tendency to do too often, I am going to write what I’d like to see.  Politicians – take note:

1.      .  I want the people we elect to office to look more like real Americans.  This means they have average American salaries (the real average, not the congressional average which is NINE TIMES that of an American).  This of course, means that there must be political reform as to how we run our elections which can cost up to millions of dollars in media buys, marketing and staffing.   I want our politicians not just to mirror Americans economically but also racially and by gender as well.  I want more parity in our elected officials because I don’t believe I can be represented by a 65 year old millionaire white male. 
2.         I want universal health care for all.  How do we do this from a budget standpoint?  Here’s a suggestion: invest in holistic health care practitioners that address the underlying problem rather than the symptoms.  All healthcare practitioners should prescribe as much preventative medicine as possible.  This however, cannot happen if people cannot afford to get regular check-ups.  We are the ONLY industrialized nation in the WORLD that does not have universal health care for its people.  What does that say about the priorities of one of the richest countries in the world if it can’t even invest in the health of its people?
3.         I want less spending on war and more investment in green technology, education and small businesses.  It becomes a huge problem when the military industrial complex becomes far more powerful than the citizens, something I fear has already happened in our country. 
4.         I want my future children (if I have them – still concerned about the world’s overpopulation issue – largest threat on earth to mother earth) to grow up in a better society where are differences are celebrated rather than similarities rewarded.  What I mean by that is for people to stop talking about diversity and to live it; this means more diverse individuals in positions of power as authors, politicians, business leaders etc.
5.          I want a lot less sexism in every single media outlet worldwide.
6.          I want a lot less sexism in every single boardroom worldwide.
7.          I want the farming industry to stop putting chemicals in the soil.
8.          I want any animal farmed for its flesh to live full lives where they roam free, see sun, and eat what they are intended to eat i.e. cows eating grass instead of being force-fed corn which they can’t digest, etc. and killed with compassion for their being.  I want the FDA to regulate HUMANE practices across the board.  As Gandhi said: “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”  
9.           More than anything, I want my American peers to rise up and do something about what they see wrong in this world.  That is what inspires me the most about Occupy Wall Street.  People standing up for what they believe in is what our nation is built on.  It’s not shopping malls and mass consumerism; it’s not corn-fed cows and hormone injected chickens, it is democracy.  This nation is built on the belief that majority rules and that belief is being challenged by the tiny minority.  I don’t want to live in a country where everyone is too comfortable, stagnant and placated on their i-pads and playstations anymore.  I demand much more.

Thank you to the OWS movement for the inspiration!  Everyone else, do with this, what you will and take action – join a movement, go vegan, spend less time watching television and more time campaigning for issues close to your heart.  Donate time or money to what you believe in and leave this world better than when you came into it. 

Love,

Jen

A patriotic American Citizen

The Medium is the Message

Your smile by candlelight

Is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen

I tell you everything

That pops into my head

A thousand jesters think

My brain is the best scene

To host crazy surprise parties

They even bring those crazy, tiny jalopies

And there’s the sad clown

Sitting in the corner – ever present

Cause he just can’t get with it

I don’t know how to take it slow

I don’t do casual or the shallow

I’m a deep diver, ocean expert

Equipped with enough oxygen

And curiosity to get us pretty far

When there’s something more

I mean to tell you

Is when at which precise moment

My oxygen supply gets cut

My larynx feels a tug while

That stupid sad clown screams

One too many cautionary tales

Broken hearts scattered through interstates

Restaurant tables and even by candlelight

Oh, but I know this feeling so well

I can ID it with both my eyes closed

Breathless, mouth open so slight

Awaiting your wet kiss

Yes, I know exactly what this is

I am withholding pertinent information

From those eyes; fear does its thing

Constantly tugging at my sleeve

Because 3 words make a 3-sided anchor

And despite my weightlessness with you

I may never come back up again

1000 loud and mocking jesters

Rendered silent

Deep sea divers died for much less

My eyes speak for themselves now

For I am speechless

The Abortion Expert

The title of this poem came from an open mic that I go to sometimes.  This kid came up to me and said "Hey I loved your stuff especially that 'abortion expert' poem."  I couldn't figure out the right title for this one so it just stuck.

The Abortion Expert

A heart can never be happy unless it’s free

Cause love only bends it, breaks it, scars it deeply

And a girl like me is always twice as reckless

Until her heart’s left beaten and twisted; her mind callous

I never learn from my mistakes – instead I wait until

I’m out from the mend then seek new ways to bend, beat, break

That which just healed, that which I just felt recuperate

You’re the last person I wanted to see; your smile an indication

Of everything I needed to avoid and instead I got undressed

Left you nothing except what lies under my chest

I want to train my body’s reaction to the butterflies at first kiss

I want to kill them dead before there’s time to reminisce

Then I want to ignore the beautiful massacre that just took place

Butterflies wings now dust while I sit wiping kisses off my face

I want to walk into gardens alone to unplant all seeds

Like an abortion expert – killing things before there’s time to breathe

This is an ode to those who can turn hearts to stone

Please stop it, paralyze it, freeze it, as hard as bone

I’ve loved too many yet the only one I’ve ever slept with is the Devil

And now he won’t stop calling; my body hypnotized, responding

I answer every time ‘cause it still gets lonely.

It still gets lonely...

I'm horrible at love poems

So I may have married and divorced this guy in my head in this poem.  I wrote it a while ago and can't even remember his name now. Funny how those things work.

The Worst Lover I Never Had

I like to get ahead of myself

And everyone else around me

So I’m writing you some romantic poetry

About moments that have yet to occur between us

Like those picnics on that windy day and me in that dress

My head on your lap while you passed cherries through my lips

All our Sunday bike rides against the skyline along great lakes

To our favorite little restaurant to eat al fresco

And we drank too much then which led to our first fight

Stupid arguments about theories of relativity and concepts of reality

But at least the makeup sex was good

In today’s world, we’ve had one conversation

About a month ago and I’ve probably deliberated

About approximately 8 hours since

About how I can accidentally run into you or

Maybe I should call, leave you a message

But that’s coming on way too strong and you haven’t responded

Meanwhile I’ve bitten off all my nails in the process

So much so that plucking my guitar strings

Feels so painful and sounds so flat to me

So I’m back to writing this stupid poetry

I’m seriously considering adding new rules

To the etiquette of dating which to include:

If you crush the hopes of a cute girl that likes you

You must submit to her a list of your ten worst habits

So she can easily envision how horrible dating you would be

And come to think of it, I cannot stand your snoring

Or how you always leave the seat up and you have no tact

In fact, you’re slightly crass and God, I can’t stand

That clicking thing you do with your tongue.

Additionally, I’ve always hated your stupid pet names for me

And I think it’s about time we talked about us

It’s not me – it’s you, you see cause I have no idea

Why I would fall for someone pretentious like you anyway

I am today now.  Realizing I’m horrible at love poems.

Yours always,

Jen

How To Diss a Vegan

I had spent the entire day becoming more intimate with my two new vegan cookbooks and cooking up a storm.  It was a Sunday afternoon.  I had invited my brother over for some much needed sibling time.  My brother rode his bike all the way to Pilsen from parent’s house in Schiller Park.   That’s at least 20 miles!  Luckily, I was prepared for such an occasion with a fully stocked fridge.

My brother tends to always be hungry and yet he is skinny.  I hate him.  Furthermore, I wanted to feed him considering I had spent all this time cooking a variety of different meals.

I had made lentil soup in the slow cooker, roasted eggplant with quinoa, “chicken” fajitas with black beans all of which were fresh, warm and delicious.  I guess you go kind of crazy when you can’t cook for 40 days, plus I was being squirrel-like and preparing for the week ahead.

My brother walks in and immediately I’m badgering him about what I could feed him (also, I think this is a Mexican female thing where you want to feed men…it’s weird but I digress).  We go back and forth for a while until he looks at me all serious-like and says: Jen, I respect your decision to become a vegan, but I will not allow you to subject me to this type of “food.”

Me: wha?  I mean it’s good, it’s just vegetables.

Him: Exactly.  That’s precisely what I mean.

Me: but everyone eats vegetables!

Him: You know what I ate today, Jen?  I ate like four different animals.  In fact, I don’t even know what types of animals I ate.  Could have been tilapia, could have been salmon, who cares?  Then I’m pretty sure I had some cow, chicken and pork.

Me: Wow, good for you! Murderer! (under my breath)

Him:  It’s just the way the world works, Jen.

Me: You should at least try something, I’ve been cooking all day and I know you’re hungry.

Him: I’m fine. 

He probably ate one of these too.

Twenty minutes later, I heard this popping noise coming out of the kitchen.  I walk out to see what it is and he had the nerve to make popcorn!  I made all of this delicious, hearty, fresh and healthy food and the $#*&@! makes popcorn!!!

Then he looks at me and smiles and says: this popcorn is vegan, right?

"Love is Cursed by Monogamy"*

You broke the rules

I only bent them temporarily

putting too much trust

in a shiny gold band

rendered meaningless

in one night.

No promises; no regrets.

This city isn’t big enough

for the both of us.

I don’t want to see your face,

but the clowns in this town

just parade it around;

whispering your pretty name.

And I met your lovely little wife

for some straight faced charades

disguised as small talk conversation.

Then proceeded to lock myself

in the bathroom to cry

They used to tell me that

good people just don’t cheat

and grown-ups always do the right thing.

I would have crossed myself and prayed

an entire rosary twice, kneeling

if I thought it’d make me feel better.

But what’s the use when

we are none other than renegade rebels

protesting monogamy

At least I still winced at my naked body.

Hearts pounding; hands racing up my thigh;

minds too busy justifying one more secret

or someone else’s wife and a good man

waiting to hold my hand at home.

Trust was an absolute.

Me: older wiser now

Trust: absolutely ridiculous

to imbed into people like us.

I made a huge bet.

Then proceeded again

to forfeit my hand when I was all in.

Alone in bathroom stalls

hotel rooms and bars.

While you smiled pretty for cameras

pretending there never was a game

never a hand to play.

Dropping your picket sign

crossing over to the other side.

You never broke the rules.

I never bent them.

I walk past your posters

without even a hint of recognition.

And your name is foreign on my tongue.

*I "borrowed" the title from Kanye West and Jay Z since it's a line in their song "No Church in the Wild."

The Fast: 40 Days - Retrospective Reflection

I know, I know, I’ve been way to busy eating to blog.  Just kidding!

I successfully completed 40 days of the fast.  Breaking the fast was quite uneventful to be honest.  It was almost like food was the one thing I had longed for, built up in my head, desired, craved, wanted and became obsessed with for 40 days and at first bite I couldn’t help but think: this is it? 

Don’t get me wrong, I love eating, but I guess it’s like anything else you build up in your head after abstaining from it.  The reality of it is usually much less than the expectations you had built in your head.

As you may know from my last blog post, I have become a vegan.  I bought all of these vegan recipe books and I have to say that after fasting for 40 days, it’s not that hard.  It’s pretty easy to convince yourself of things like: cheese?  Oh I don’t eat that.  Does that have cream?  I don’t eat that. Etc.  I’m thankful for being able to easily transition to a vegan lifestyle (except for my Camel hair coat and variety of leather boots which I have no desire to be rid of).  The best thing about going vegan has been that I have been able to sustain my weight loss from the fast quite easily.

In 40 days I lost about 25 pounds.  Since completing the fast I’ve gained back about 3 pounds and maintained a 22 pound loss.  If you remember, prior to fasting I had lost 20 pounds by exercising and eating better.   This means that since April of 2011 I am down a substantial 42 pounds.  Not bad, still some to go. 

Here are the less tangible benefits of the fast that I would like to share:

Cleansing = forgiveness: it seems that I was carrying more than a few extra pounds including some pretty heavy baggage that didn’t really belong to me from some ex-lovers.  Around the fourth day of the fast I did some intense meditation, wrote some compassionate letters to myself of understanding and forgave me, him and them for some hard-earned scars on my heart.  Three days later I met someone pretty amazing (who I’m hoping won’t read this blog).

I can have a great time (shocked face) WITHOUT booze:  I know, I know, it’s crazy.  I actually like hanging out with friends without drinking.  Most of you who know me in person know I love a great Malbec or Pinot Noir and of course some whiskey or scotch on the rocks but guess what?  I don’t need to drink to have a good time (it helps tho) but not necessary.  I find myself meeting up with friends for tea or doing other things that don’t include drinking.  It’s pretty awesome.  Also, I save money.

I feel better about myself: physically, mentally and emotionally.  I feel…dare I say, happy.  I’m proud of my accomplishment and it was hard and I’m happy that I stuck through it.  I proved something to myself and let go of the need to prove things to others.  Of course, my body feels a lot better after dropping significant weight and consuming healthy foods.  I also feel more secure, like I don’t need so much validation from the outside world in my endeavors because I know what I’m doing.  There’s a quiet confidence in knowing you can do whatever you want to do.  Also, I have less patience for those individuals that have nothing but excuses, particularly because that used to be me.  I guess it’s like Herman Hesse once wrote in Demian: “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” 

That being said, I'm looking for my next challenge.  I kind of feel like: Okay, I fasted 40 days, now what? 

Any suggestions?