Resolution

Be less despondent

More warm-hearted

P A T I E N C E

Don’t take it personally

Be less self conscious

Make peace with the uncertainty

Let it go

Stop controlling

Write more

Talk less

Work harder

Play everyday

Dream bigger
Be fierce
Be friendly

Slowly slowly

Practice daily

Less arrogance

More acceptance

Kill the ego

Breathe deeper

Push yourself more

Rest more often

Let it go

Turn off the television

Give thanks

Pray all day

Fill up on love

Be less angry

Let yourself cry

Be strong enough

Practice mindfulness

Sink into the pose

Don’t try so hard

Let things flow

Read more books

Listen attentively

Be present

Let it go
Turn off your cell phone

Spend more time outside

Listen to your body

Respect your elders

Let them come

Be the change

Become the teacher

Set the example

Tell the truth

Show kindness

Embody compassion

Look beyond yourself

Know self sacrifice

Dig through your darkness

Embrace your weakness

Hug more people

See the good

Challenge yourself

Widen your perception

Evolve.

Almost

I.              Jonathan

You get my cheesy jokes
You say exactly what I was just thinking
No need to explain my strange tangents on the state of the world’s affairs
Or how I woke up one morning and decided to chop off my hair
That I decided just last night that I was going to India solo
And maybe Tibet if I have time

And whenever we’re together they have to stifle our laughter
You recognize me the same way rare birds know each other
You feel to me like family

If you were to ask me straight I’d own up to it
Fantasizing about events that could never happen
My hands haven’t been looking so clean
But yours have that strong nobility; pristine
What I love about you is why we could never be

This is me not noticing your expressions
A vague little smile and an extra spark in your eyes
Every time you come close enough to look into mine
We are a quiet conversation lingering in the cold
We are a tinge of sadness every time one of us has to go
We are behaving well; doing what we are told
We are all potential and never any follow through
We are subtle insinuations with a touch of flirtation
We are a goodbye hug five seconds too long

II.             Amir

You rounded the curves of the mountain 

so intimately and with such speed that

my heart was racing

We went deep into the forest

then deep within ourselves 

We undressed in rivers so clear

each pebble had a distinct color 

We saw bears and leaping squirrels

made peace with spiders and hiked up inclines

I liked you the best when

you climbed down the waterfall 

Some teenager needed to prove his salt

compared to you and followed you down  

I sat on top of the waterfall

snapping photos of you with your phone

We were quiet together

staring up at the stars

we didn’t talk about us or tomorrow

or what life would be like back in Chicago

I said I thought I should be alone for a while

and you said that only right now mattered

We packed our things silently

as though we’d worked as a team forever

I was the morning’s joyful daughter

you were eyes wide open, night owl

I rounded the curves of the mountain 

the way a man knows his way around a woman

the moment felt surreal and serene 

Our minds both blank now focused on the green

of God’s leaves and the rich reds of the cliffs

we’d climbed and pass too soon.  

III.            Ismael

I wanted to show you

Every poem I’d ever written

I wanted to explore every freckle

On your body

I wanted to sit with you

In your ocean of sadness

Like a life raft

I wanted to make you dinner

Then make you laugh

I wanted to challenge you

Push you further into

Your own self-exploration

I wanted to support everything

You’ve ever wanted for yourself

I wanted you to meet me halfway

I still think of you

While clinging to “someday”

When we’re both grown

When we’re both settled

But nothing’s ever done

And nothing’s ever perfect

You still don’t deserve

All that I still want to give you

And I still don’t care

Does that make me a masochist?

IV.           Phillip

I accidentally kissed you

I didn’t realize it really or intend to

You were slightly shocked and stuttering

Before changing the subject completely

I was all smiles with no expectations

I watch the way you move on stage

You are all open hips and an open heart

No inhibitions or false sense of self

Never met anyone with so much charm

It’s sudden and seductive in unexpected ways

There are many other women, I’m sure

Normally I’d care, but I don’t

I’m just here to say hello

A quiet confident curiosity

Share some space and time before I have to go

And that’s enough for now

V.            You

The first in a series of future “to be continueds”

A neverending ellipse

Of yet unsaid sentences…

We Live in Public

For the past few years I've gone to a documentary film festival called the True False Film Festival in Columbia, Missouri.

In 2009, I was introduced to a powerful documentary about the future of this digital landscape we live in called We Live in Public.  In the film, the protagonist, Josh Harris, a dot-com visionary who has been penned the “Nostradamus of the internet,” creates an experiment where dozens of volunteers in New York City live underground for an entire year with food, alcohol, living quarters and even a firing range all provided to them.  The catch is that everything they do is videotaped – from their showers to their sex lives.  These brave souls agreed to be filmed 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for an entire year.

Harris predicted sites like Facebook and Hulu before they ever existed.  In the film, Harris says “Years ago the lions and tigers were kings of the jungle and one day they wound up in zoos, I suspect we’re on the same track.”

I bring up this film because Harris, as crazy as he was (and oh, he was CRAZY) did have a point about the future of technology.  We currently DO live in public.  And, it’s not going away. 

Sure, you can choose to not participate in sites like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Linked In, Google Plus and the countless others I can name (wait, you’re reading my blog, right?) but when was the last time you googled something?  Ever notice how you were searching for some winter boots and then all of sudden you’re checking your Gmail account and an advertisement for winter boots comes up?  Very few people living in modern society can manage to live off the digital grid and frankly, I don’t think it’s such a horrible thing.

Social media has been blamed for many a scandal: political, business, personal etc. Yet, I have to wonder, being the optimist I am, what if we embraced living in public?  What if we aligned ourselves with those things that are honest and preserve the integrity to who we are as people?  What if we allowed our Facebook feeds and Twitter feeds to provide a glimpse into who that is and utilized these new mediums to form communities instead of feeding our ever growing narcissism? 

A social media professor once said, “If there is something that you say or do that you’d be ashamed of if it showed up online, then don’t do it and don’t say it.”  Shouldn’t we be doing that anyway?  Shouldn’t we strive to live good, ethical and honorable lives?  Is transparency so radical an idea?  We all are the first to fight for transparency when it comes to government funds and corporate board rooms, but what about ourselves?  What are we so afraid of?

We will make mistakes, quite possibly publicly, but maybe instead of judging others so harshly for their mistakes we will learn to be more empathetic and understanding of one another.

More about Harris here:

Trailer for the film:

Preserving Authenticity: as you are in anything is as you are in everything

Aside from writing poetry and practicing yoga, I have a career I very much treasure and enjoy.

When I was younger in my career I believed everything was easily categorized and could neatly fit into a box.  If I was going to work in business I needed to BE business in the narrow-minded way I saw it to be: this rigid, cold, rule-abiding clear-cut thing.  After all, I was born in the 1980s where everything was marketed to me in a neat package since inception.

I spent years feeling conflicted because I am not clear cut.  I am a mix of everything from the indigenous blood mixing with the Spanish blood in my veins to my attempts at perfecting eagle pose before a conference call to my ideas of a fun Friday night consisting of watching Shark Tank while working on a new drawing.

I wrote a rap song once (my alterego is simultaneously an MC folk singer) and one of the lines from it goes:
...but til then I'll face the struggle of living in square boxes
too many right angles don't fit my round face
but it's packaged and it's pretty and easy to place...

For too long I felt I'd have to sacrifice my creativity and all those marvelous things that make me me in order to become this great business leader that I wanted to be.

During this time I was the epitome of ambivalence: a bohemian creative type that wanted to take over the business world.  Who did I think I was?

That's precisely the best question I could have ever asked myself.  In reading a business article on leadership I came across this quote: How you do anything is how you do everything.

Business is coming of age.  It is recognizing that we as humans, employees, consumers are not this one-sided square thing.  Our motivations stem from a number of different factors: our relationships, societal norms and a sense of purpose.

And sometimes we do headstands...

My shifting consciousness on the state of business has guided me to this simple conclusion: find out who you are and be the best you you can be.  As you are in other aspects in life, you are in business.

I lived in the middle of the New Mexican desert surrounded by wolves to learn to be comfortable with always being uncomfortable.

I traveled all over the world (and counting) to understand and embody diversity.

I practice yoga because I am the greatest resource and ally I will ever have.

I listen to others because I'm a perpetual student fortunate enough to view everyone as a teacher.

I write my life lessons down because I believe in sharing.

In business, I am all of this: the risk taker, a holistic thinker, transparent, the student, the teacher, the people person who strives for connectivity in all she does.  I'm not only my title at my company.  I am guided by purpose in all things because as I am in yoga I am in business and as I am in business I am as a friend.  How you do anything is how you do everything.