Sometimes I suck at dating.

I know it’s hard to believe.  Well, this wasn’t really a date persay, but I had kind of wanted to date this guy eventually because I liked him.

So I had a few drinks and was talking to this gentleman for quite a while.  He seemed really sweet and didn’t mind me talking about dead babies at all so in my mind, it was going well.

It was close to 2 a.m. and so I asked him if he’d like to go back to my place to make some art because I lived so close to the bar.

He agreed.

You’d think making some sort of move to show that I was interested in him would be easy for me considering he’s coming to my apartment.

I'm sure he was thinking I was just as weird as this guy thinks Liz Lemon is...

WRONG – I am like the Liz Lemon of dating – I somehow will find ways to screw something up even when it’s “in the bag.”

We get to my place what do I do?  I go and get my easel and markers and charcoal and instruct him to work with the charcoal while I work with the markers, and oh would he like some tea?

Charcoal, Jen – seriously? 

I don’t think he actually thought I was serious about the art…

It’s late.  We are tired.  So I ask if he would like to watch a movie and he says he would love to.  Okay, good…movies are good, there could be some cuddle action…maybe a kiss. NOPE!

 Another great potentially romantic moment ruined by yours truly.

First of all, I put a documentary on about coal mining.  Really, Jen, COALMINING?!? That’s real sexy.

Then while he’s sitting on my loveseat to one side so I can sit next to him and I step over him to sit on my other couch.  

This time I actually realize I screwed up and am thinking okay, you can still salvage this…just go sit next to him, Jen – it’s not so hard..just go and sit next to him.  Five minutes later I’m still thinking about how to maneuver this incredibly complicated action and finally think: Too much time has passed.  You made your choice.  You have to stay here now.

Naturally he falls asleep.  Why?  Because it’s 4a.m. and WE ARE WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY ABOUT COALMINING!!

I go to my bedroom and fall asleep.  The next morning I wake up excited thinking, okay today’s a new day and he slept over so we can grab a bite and some coffee and talk some more only to awaken to find that he’s gone.  FAILED!

I finally turn my phone on to a nice text message that says it was great chatting with you and hanging out blah blah blah…but one of those that just means that we’ll probably never do that again.