"Love is Cursed by Monogamy"*

You broke the rules

I only bent them temporarily

putting too much trust

in a shiny gold band

rendered meaningless

in one night.

No promises; no regrets.

This city isn’t big enough

for the both of us.

I don’t want to see your face,

but the clowns in this town

just parade it around;

whispering your pretty name.

And I met your lovely little wife

for some straight faced charades

disguised as small talk conversation.

Then proceeded to lock myself

in the bathroom to cry

They used to tell me that

good people just don’t cheat

and grown-ups always do the right thing.

I would have crossed myself and prayed

an entire rosary twice, kneeling

if I thought it’d make me feel better.

But what’s the use when

we are none other than renegade rebels

protesting monogamy

At least I still winced at my naked body.

Hearts pounding; hands racing up my thigh;

minds too busy justifying one more secret

or someone else’s wife and a good man

waiting to hold my hand at home.

Trust was an absolute.

Me: older wiser now

Trust: absolutely ridiculous

to imbed into people like us.

I made a huge bet.

Then proceeded again

to forfeit my hand when I was all in.

Alone in bathroom stalls

hotel rooms and bars.

While you smiled pretty for cameras

pretending there never was a game

never a hand to play.

Dropping your picket sign

crossing over to the other side.

You never broke the rules.

I never bent them.

I walk past your posters

without even a hint of recognition.

And your name is foreign on my tongue.

*I "borrowed" the title from Kanye West and Jay Z since it's a line in their song "No Church in the Wild."