The Fast: 40 Days - Retrospective Reflection

I know, I know, I’ve been way to busy eating to blog.  Just kidding!

I successfully completed 40 days of the fast.  Breaking the fast was quite uneventful to be honest.  It was almost like food was the one thing I had longed for, built up in my head, desired, craved, wanted and became obsessed with for 40 days and at first bite I couldn’t help but think: this is it? 

Don’t get me wrong, I love eating, but I guess it’s like anything else you build up in your head after abstaining from it.  The reality of it is usually much less than the expectations you had built in your head.

As you may know from my last blog post, I have become a vegan.  I bought all of these vegan recipe books and I have to say that after fasting for 40 days, it’s not that hard.  It’s pretty easy to convince yourself of things like: cheese?  Oh I don’t eat that.  Does that have cream?  I don’t eat that. Etc.  I’m thankful for being able to easily transition to a vegan lifestyle (except for my Camel hair coat and variety of leather boots which I have no desire to be rid of).  The best thing about going vegan has been that I have been able to sustain my weight loss from the fast quite easily.

In 40 days I lost about 25 pounds.  Since completing the fast I’ve gained back about 3 pounds and maintained a 22 pound loss.  If you remember, prior to fasting I had lost 20 pounds by exercising and eating better.   This means that since April of 2011 I am down a substantial 42 pounds.  Not bad, still some to go. 

Here are the less tangible benefits of the fast that I would like to share:

Cleansing = forgiveness: it seems that I was carrying more than a few extra pounds including some pretty heavy baggage that didn’t really belong to me from some ex-lovers.  Around the fourth day of the fast I did some intense meditation, wrote some compassionate letters to myself of understanding and forgave me, him and them for some hard-earned scars on my heart.  Three days later I met someone pretty amazing (who I’m hoping won’t read this blog).

I can have a great time (shocked face) WITHOUT booze:  I know, I know, it’s crazy.  I actually like hanging out with friends without drinking.  Most of you who know me in person know I love a great Malbec or Pinot Noir and of course some whiskey or scotch on the rocks but guess what?  I don’t need to drink to have a good time (it helps tho) but not necessary.  I find myself meeting up with friends for tea or doing other things that don’t include drinking.  It’s pretty awesome.  Also, I save money.

I feel better about myself: physically, mentally and emotionally.  I feel…dare I say, happy.  I’m proud of my accomplishment and it was hard and I’m happy that I stuck through it.  I proved something to myself and let go of the need to prove things to others.  Of course, my body feels a lot better after dropping significant weight and consuming healthy foods.  I also feel more secure, like I don’t need so much validation from the outside world in my endeavors because I know what I’m doing.  There’s a quiet confidence in knowing you can do whatever you want to do.  Also, I have less patience for those individuals that have nothing but excuses, particularly because that used to be me.  I guess it’s like Herman Hesse once wrote in Demian: “If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.” 

That being said, I'm looking for my next challenge.  I kind of feel like: Okay, I fasted 40 days, now what? 

Any suggestions?

The Fast: Day 38 Food for Thought

With two more days to go on this fast and with 40 days to contemplate food (sometimes way too much) I’ve had some time to become very informed and make a very deliberate decision regarding my diet.

I’m going vegan!  Vegans do not eat any animal products which include: eggs, dairy (cow’s milk, goat’s milk, butter etc.).  Strict vegans don’t consume anything that might have been processed with anything from an animal – I’m likely not going to be that hardcore, at least initially anyway.

I’m doing it for the health benefits.  I’ve been watching a lot of food related documentaries lately (because that’s what you do when you fast, you watch documentaries about food while your friends are out to dinner).  Two of them really impacted me greatly: Forks over Knives and Food Inc.  Forks over Knives focuses on cancer research and diet while Food Inc. focuses on the way food is manufactured and processed including our grains, fruits and vegetables.  It also shows some pretty gruesome and cruel practices towards animals and how far we have come from those days on the farm.

Without getting too preachy I’ll explain why I’m going vegan:

• Hello Fall!  Where did my allergies go?  My sinus allergies have been so much better.  Generally, when the seasons change I’ve been known to sneeze 13 times in succession and just be a mucus-y mess with plenty of sinus headaches and breathing problems but guess what?  My sinuses feel great and NO mucus build-up since starting the fast.  I think it’s safe to say that diet affects my allergies.  Upon doing my own research on how I realized that eliminating dairy has been shown to reduce allergy symptoms so there goes the dairy.
• Weight loss: A vegan diet is generally low fat since you’re not using any animal products.  Of course, you can definitely eat badly as a vegan, as you could with any other diet, but in general it’s more difficult to make those impulsive cupcake or candy bar buys when everything contains milk or eggs.
• “The anticancer” diet?  I could go into this but just save me the trouble and watch Forks over Knives – streams free on Netflix.
• Bye bye hormones: No more Bovine Growth hormone in my cheese!  No more other growth hormones in my chicken and no more mercury in my fish (Dear Scallops and Oysters:  I’ll miss you...but it’s not forever, we can rendezvous one night, just you and me, and I will be seduced in blissful seafood heaven.  A little mercury never hurt anyone, right?  P.S. don’t tell the other vegans.)

If I can fast for 40 days, I’m fairly certain I can eliminate most processed foods from my diet like refined sugars, flours etc.  My plan is to try and eat as whole as possible when possible.  This will ensure many good grains/carbohydrates and lots of fruits and vegetables.  I also may maintain my juicing of fresh fruits and veggies daily or every other day as I am enjoying it.

There is one thing I refuse to give up and that is coffee.   Countless times I’ve ALMOST broken the fast with a cup of hot, delicious coffee, but I persevered!  Sure, I almost brushed my lips against the forbidden cup but forbidden no longer.  Only two days separates us.  I can’t wait.  It will be heavenly.

The Fast: Day 35 - Pure Determination and Grit

I hate to say it, but I’m pretty cranky today.  We had a staff meeting today and it was someone’s birthday.  This means I had to sit in front of a chocolate cake from Portillo’s the WHOLE MEETING.  Then we had a staff lunch so I had to watch all of my coworkers chow down on some delicious looking sandwiches...and then the cake.

Today is my 35^th day and I know I only have 5 more days to go, but I’m getting really sick of fasting and I the only thing that is getting me through it at this point is pure grit and a commitment I made to myself to do 40 days.

I’m really hungry.  Furthermore, I’m so tired of carrying these water bottles of juice with me everywhere I go.  I miss glasses of wine and being able to taste new things (other than fruits and veggies). 

My body is ready to return to solid foods again, but I’m not prepared yet.  I have an idea of the lifestyle changes that will need to follow this fast, but I need to get my head in the right place.  I don’t want to gain back much weight or lose any of the health benefits of this fast.

I’d like to delve into those benefits now and uncover for you what gets me through fasting:

Clear Skin:  My face looks and feels amazing.  People have commented on a certain “glow” I have and I’m definitely attributing it to the fast.  You’d glow too if all you ever consumed was fresh fruit and vegetable juices.  Of course I did have to go through some bad skin days prior to this – as part of the detox.

More energy:  You’d think that on a 40 day fast I’d be starving and bedridden or tired but I generally feel great from the moment I wake up in the morning.  I have a consistent energy throughout the day and an alertness as though I’d consumed three espressos minus the jitters.  My mind is clear and my body feels great too. 

Weight loss: this is a given, right?  On my 35^th day of the fast I am down 22 pounds since starting, which means 42 pounds since April.  My old clothes from college fit again (even a little big).  Of course other things result when you feel better about how your exterior looks such as more confidence, better fashion decisions and some high credit card bills from the new clothes that look so cute on you now.

Zen: I feel really peaceful and have felt a lot more balanced than usual.  I sometimes can be slightly erratic in my energy levels but with this I feel a sense of calm always.  It’s quite nice actually.

“Can do” Mentality: I just fasted for 35 days!!  Yeah I can get into that yoga pose.  Sure I never have run in my life but yeah, I’mma run your 5k.  Why?  Because I can!

It’s not all peaches and cream.  There are moments, like now, where I have to remind myself of why I am doing this; where I have to make a mental list of the benefits.  I do get hungry.  I miss cooking, eating, drinking, etc.  I especially miss partaking in these activities with friends and family. There is a sense of isolation when you are fasting despite when you are with people.  It’s as though society is all doing one thing (eating regularly) and you’re not a part of it. 

It reminds me of how important cooking was to past societies.  We didn’t develop language until we had fire.**  Some anthropologists attribute this to sitting around fires to cook our food.  Food is such an integral part of being human.  No other species uses language like us and no other species cook their food.  Sharing it with others is even more so. 

Proponents of fasting say you stop getting hungry once you start fasting and it’s true to an extent, but you never really get over the hunger – it just passes in waves.  Also, juice is filling.  I never thought I would say that but I can drink fresh fruit or vegetable juice and feel very full.

There have been some moments where I almost ate.  I’m not perfect and this is difficult, but I didn’t because I realized that I would only be failing myself.  I told myself 40 days and I will complete 40 days and as hard as this is I am seeing the end of the tunnel clearer and clearer.  Five more days to go!  I’d like to say that I am grateful for anyone who has provided me support and encouragement during this time.  It really did/does help.

**I'm fact checking on the language emergence coinciding with the fire/cooking bit.  I remember it from an anthropology class but don't quote me.  Feel free to comment/correct me below.

The Fast: Day 30 and Writing Love Songs to Bread

I’m F*%$*n’ HUNGRY!!

Seriously, I’m starving.  I know people say this all the time but they don’t mean it.  What?  They haven’t eaten “all day” or “since breakfast?”  Try 30 days, bitches! 

I want some hummus with olive oil drizzled on top paired with black olives and vegetables and oh my God, I miss bread.  I came home last night and was messing around with my guitar and somehow started singing a love song to bread.  It went something like this:

You’re the only white thing I like

It’s love at the first bite

I love to pick around your shell

At the soft insides

And the way you cradle

So perfectly the tomatoes

Cucumbers and lettuce too

I’ve had the French one

Italian, Panini, rye

I’ve had the Cuban

Baguette, whole grain

pumpernicccckkkkllllllleee

With olive oil, with cheese

Tomatoes and greens

Hummus oh please…

It just got worse after that so I won’t go on but seriously…Who does that?!?! 

I <3 you...

Yeah, so this fast: I’m glad I’m doing it.  It’s life changing and blahblahblah but I love autumn foods and I want a pumpkin spiced latte with soy milk and no whipped cream and I want to be able to eat butternut squash with cinnamon on top.  I want to eat the caramel apple dammit!  I miss cashews so much.  Oddly enough, the act of chewing is something you can actually miss.  Sometimes when I’m drinking my juice or water or tea I start to get really sick of the act of drinking.  The swallowing becomes forced and sounds like this violent gulping. 

I miss hanging out and grabbing a drink with friends.  The guy(s) I’m dating can’t figure out where to take me that don’t include consumption of some liquid or food item that I simply cannot have.   I’m getting slightly restless and if I could find a way to deliver pinot noir intravenously while simultaneously enjoying the flavor without breaking the fast I’d have done so already.

Yeah, so what if my body feels amazing and I have so much energy and I feel peaceful and clear-minded and accomplished?  So what if I’ve unpacked a lot of emotional baggage I’d been carrying around with me and put it in its proper place?  So what if I’ve proved a lot to myself regarding the amount of discipline, will power and grit I have?  I’m starving!  

The Fast: Day 23 (Jordan Day) and How to do a Juice Fast

Today is my “Jordan day” of the fast.   My cousin coined the term during his 23^rd birthday.  He said: “This is my Jordan year;” 23 representing the numbers Michael Jordan rocked with The Bulls.  Can you tell we’re Chicagoans?  Anyway, my “Jordan day” doesn’t start with Wheaties, the breakfast of champions (the cheesiness stops here, I swear).  It starts with a green smoothie.

I’ve gotten a couple of requests to share exactly how I’ve been fasting.  Most people are surprised to know that I don’t spend all day at home in bed rest next to my juicer.  I generally have very busy and active days.

A typical weekday for me means I’m up at 6 a.m. and out the door by 7:30 a.m.  I generally don’t see my apartment again until 8 or 9 that night.  This is due to many work and social engagements (I like to keep really really busy).  This might include luncheon meetings during the day, workouts, yoga classes, board meetings in the evenings, networking events or even dinner galas. 

For those of you who have researched juice fasting you know that juicing (not the Arnold kind) is done using fresh fruits and vegetables (organic if possible) and a juicer, but how can you maintain a super busy schedule that include breakfasts, luncheons and yes, even galas while juice fasting?

After only 13 days of juice fasting (23 days of fasting include the 10 day Master Cleanse), I certainly don’t consider myself an expert, but here’s what I do:

I make all of my juice in the morning before leaving and carry it in one or two water bottles to work and stick it in the fridge here while sipping on it continuously.  It’s true that juice is best once freshly made but if you keep it refrigerated it can last up to 24 hours.

This was yesterday’s meal:

Breakfast juice:

5 carrots, 1-2 beets, 1 sweet potato (yes you can juice sweet potatoes)

Big Lunch juice:

7 leaves of dinosaur kale, 3 brussel sprouts (I juice anything and everything), 3 apples.  I juice all of those then I mix the green juice in the blender with three very ripe bananas.  I use bananas because unlike other fruits, their sugars are distributed in your body slowly so you get hungry less.  Another reason I use bananas is because kale and swiss chard and other leafy greens that are super good for you taste like chlorophyll (which isn’t very tasty) and bananas are great at masking the taste especially ripe ones.

Dinner:

Avocado Cilantro Soup (this is all blended and NOT juiced):

2 avocados

Spinach

Juice of one lime

Cilantro

1 bunch of green onions

CHEAT SHEET:

So perhaps a couple of days during the week my crazy schedule catches up with me and I wake up a little late or perhaps I forget my juice in the fridge and don’t realize it until hunger strikes on the bus.  Here are some tips for such occasions:

·         I work downtown and there are a few places that make fresh juice.  I have them memorized and head there on my lunch break.

·         In my neighborhood, the café down the street juices fresh orange and carrot juice.  If I woke up late, I’ll run to the café and get a small orange juice for breakfast and a large carrot juice for lunch.

·         Out and about?  Asian restaurants that offer smoothies generally can make you fresh juice or smoothies with only fruit and water or ice when you’re in a juice bind.

·         Some health food stores have juice bars.

·         Many Middle Eastern restaurants have juicers.

·         Worst case scenario includes you picking up some Naked brand juice – make sure to review all ingredients to make sure it’s 100% fruits and vegetables only.

·         Jamba Juice can make you some fruit juices but they are not the best providers of vegetable juices.

·         Hit up your neighborhoods Farmer’s Market on the weekends so you have ingredients for the week.  Don’t be afraid to juice new things for the first time.  Juicing is a great way to experiment with new fruits and vegetables!

·         Enjoy your fresh juice and the experience!

If you are interested in juice fasting here are some better resources, links and books that I recommend:

Watch this documentary: Fat Sick & Nearly Dead

On Green Juicing

This is a comprehensive site with information on various types of juice fasting including the Master Cleanse which I previously did. The organization of the site isn't too user friendly but if you poke around a bit there's some good information.

These books have provided me with basic information and recipes:

Juicing, Fasting and Detoxing for Life by Cherie Calbom MS

The Green Smoothie Revolution: The Radical Leap Towards Natural Health by Victoria Boutenko

Day 19: Staying out of Hospitals

One thing very few people know about me is that I HATE hospitals.  Yes, I know no one really likes them but I think I hate them more than most people.  I loathe the smell.  I hate watching the half dead – their yellowed faces waiting in wheelchairs attached to complicated machines, the tubes of fluids, white coats, white walls….all of it.  You walk in there and it’s as though you've crossed between the world of the living and the world of the dead.  I’m particularly sensitive to this change.

I had a meeting at a hospital this past week.  In a weird way it reminded me of why I’m fasting.

My mother thinks that I’m doing it to lose weight  but it’s not about the weight.  Dropping weight is definitely a welcome side effect but not the purpose.  The reason is so that I don’t end up between worlds: in purgatory with white walls and white coats.  I’m doing this fast for my health.

Allow me to explain: I don’t have many fears.  Spiders could crawl all over my skin, I’m not afraid of walking around in dark forests at night – I find it riveting.  I have lived alone in deserts, owned snakes etc.  One thing I do fear is not being in control of my body or health.  I fear cancer; diseases so severe I cannot cure them of my own accord.  I fear having to be bedridden in the world of the half dead.

I strongly believe and have always believed that what we put into our bodies creates health or disease.  I became a vegetarian when I was 15.  When I was 18 I explored veganism (poorly – do not do this when you don’t know about nutrition and are living off dorm food).  The past few years I’ve teetered back into eating the occasional poultry dish (but never beef or pork) while remaining primarily a pescetarian.

One thing we don’t think about nearly enough is that the meat you eat today is not the same meat that your grandfather ate on his farm.  The fruits and vegetables you enjoy today are not the same that your great grandparents grew.  These are chemical-laden products produced for mass consumption and profit.

Here’s some food for thought: if you don’t drink organic milk chances are you are being exposed to the Bovine Growth Hormone (BGH), an artificial hormone given to cows to increase dairy production.  The United States of America is the ONLY industrialized nation where milk produced with the aid of BGH is allowed to be sold for human consumption (thank you Monsanto lobbyists).  Let’s think about this – rapid growth means rapid cell production.  Rapid cell production…isn’t that like cancer? 

Beef cows get treated with similar hormones to develop more meat because more meat = more $$.  We’ve all seen the heart breaking videos of chickens with overdeveloped breasts that they topple over.  Yes, you may say I’m crazy for fasting for 40 days and detoxifying my body by living off fresh vegetable and fruit juices, but considering you just had Burger King for dinner (and some hormones that probably cause cancer), maybe I’m not so crazy after all. 

The idea of a juice detox or any fasting detoxification program is to give your digestive system a break.  A liquid diet saves it the energy and constant work of digesting your food so your body’s energy can be spent on cleaning out the other organs, revitalizing cells, etc.  Juicing maintains 95% of the nutrients from the fruit or vegetable which means your body gets tons of micro nutrients to help your cells stay healthy.

So perhaps I am crazy or perhaps I'll avoid hospital beds and machinery a little bit better than others.  I can only hope.