How To Attract Creepy and or Crazy Men

Why is it that the guys I seem to attract are crazy, creepy or just wrong altogether? I think I have identified key factors about myself that may be contributing to this:
 
How to attract crazy and creepy men:

• Talk about living with wolves.
• Be obsessed with dead baby jokes. (Although I have seriously made some progress here...)
• Go to bars by yourself just to sit and draw or write poems.
• Wear feathers in your hair.
• Talk about your passionate love for chess.
• Be slightly domineering and assertive (for some reason, crazy and creepy men love strong women).
• Be open-minded (to the point of allowing weird conversations go on way too long).
• Have crazy parents to begin with that are at fault for placing you on the path to being accustomed to crazy behavior from others. (read here for more background)

How to be a creepy and or crazy man:

• Buy me Barbies for my 27th birthday (this is never an OK thing to do for ANY adult woman’s birthday).
• Stare at me every single time I get up to go to the restroom in the hallways of my office.
• Now this particular person has graduated to saying hello. I don’t respond. No one likes to STARED at every time they go to the restroom.
• Take pictures of my apartment when I am not there.
• Ask me to kiss you after asking me if I have ecstasy pills on me.
• L.A. clubs are kind of crazy. Do I look like I have drugs? Seriously…
• Love Jesus a little too much and or think I am going to Hell. (please see here)
• Ask me to wear my hair a particular way prior to going out with you (yep, didn’t end up going out with him after that).

Sadly, all of those things mentioned above REALLY did happen to me. Even sadder is that there hasn’t been a normal instance to balance any of the creepy crazy instances out. Disillusionment and fear is settling in rather quickly.

Women Who Run With the Wolves

Wildlife and the Wild Woman are both endangered species.

Over time, we have seen the feminine instinctive nature looted, driven back and overbuilt.  For long periods it has been mismanaged like the wildlife and the wildlands.  For several thousand years, as soon and as often as we turn our backs, it is relegated to the poorest land in the psyche.  The spiritual lands of Wild Woman have, throughout history, been plundered or burnt, dens bulldozed, and natural cycles forced into unnatural rhythms to please others.

It's not by accident that the pristine wilderness of our planet disappears as the understanding of our own inner and wild nature fades.  It is not so difficult to comprehend why old forests and old women are viewed as not very important resources.  It is not such a mystery.  It is not so coincidental that wolves and coyotes, bears and wildish women have similar reputations.  They all share related instinctual archetypes, and as such, both are erroneously reputed to be ingracious, wholly and innately dangerous, and ravenous...

Healthy wolves and healthy women share certain psychic characteristics: keen sensing, playful spirit, and a heightened capacity for devotion.  Wolves and women are relational by nature, inquiring, possessed by a great endurance and strength.  They are deeply intuitive, intensely concerned with their young, their mates and their pack.  They are experience in adapting to constantly changing circumstances; they are fiercely stalwart and very brave.

Yet both have been hounded, harassed, and falsely imputed to be devouring and devious, overly aggressive, of less value than those who are their detractors.  They have been the targets of those who would clean up the wilds as well as the wildish environs of the psyche, extincting the instinctual, and leaving no trace of it behind.  The predation of wolves and women by those who misunderstand them is strikingly similar.


-Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.,Women Who Run With the Wolves

Hi! Welcome to Chicago – it’s nice to meet you – here are the keys to my apartment.

So I belong to this website called Couchsurfing.  Couchsurfing is an online community where you can build a profile and then search for people in whatever city you are planning on visiting worldwide to host you.  

Hosting generally entails the following: lodging at your home and sharing cultural experiences as a native or resident of that particular place they are visiting.  Surfing means that you stay with a stranger and are prepared to see a new city from with a local perspective and twist.  The hosts can suggest great local hangouts where the Chicagoans really go as opposed to the tourist traps although there are the classic joints that visitors should check out which in my opinion include the following: deep dish pizza, Italian beef if you’re into the whole meat eating thing (I’m not, but I do live in a city who’s backbone has historically been the meatpacking industry), The Art Institute, The Field Museum etc.

Then of course my personal fave spots: Simones J, local Mexican joints here in Pilsen, Greektown, Little India by Devon, Wicker Park, The Green Mill, street festivals, downtown...  I also try to cater to each person’s individual agenda or taste. 

I love hosting for a number of different reasons.  I make new friends from all over the world and it’s a beautiful thing to share my home and life with an outsider and always leaves me with new perspectives from their point of view.  I learn about lot about different countries, different political systems from people who’ve lived there – not just read things in books.  It also gives me an opportunity to fall in love with Chicago.  For instance, at the beginning of the summer I had a young guy stay with me who was a comedian – he had a show here in Chicago and so we met up after work near the spot where his gig was at and I had the most amazing time laughing and getting introduced to the comedy culture in my own city. 

My biggest take-away from hosting was living in New Mexico for two months taking care of wolves.  After working at a dead-end corporate job that I hated for a year right after graduating from university I found myself stagnant and bored.  I had hosted this couple who told me about Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary and volunteering there and three months later I was on a plane to live with wolves myself: a life changing experience.

I’ve had visitors stay with me from all over the world: Australia, England, Germany, the Netherlands, Mexico, and Spain.  I’ve also had visitors stay with me from all over the United States from all walks of life.  I’ve had rich people stay with me, poor hippies travelling from city to city trying to find themselves, academics, self-taught prophets…it’s been an experience to say the least.  With each visitor my mind expands further and further while I realize how little I know.  It’s humbling, enlightening, and beautiful to connect with others in this fashion.

I’ve had varied reactions from friends when discussing how I participate on this site.  Generally, it’s something like: “I hope you don’t get murdered.”  Or “You’re not afraid that they will steal things from you?” or “that’s really cool – why do you do it?” Or “You’re so trusting of others – I could never do that.”

It’s not for everyone and I think to really belong to this type of community you have to be willing to have an open mind and an open heart for others.  You also have to understand that this isn’t a site where you can just go to someone’s home and crash there for a night ‘cause you’d rather not pay for a hotel – it’s a reciprocal type of thing.  Surfers have made me dinner, taken me out for a night on the town, cleaned my place, sent me gifts from their home countries or post cards or letters, maintained in contact, provided awesome business or life advice, and generally wanted to share experiences with me.

Alicia from Australia :)

Corey from California and her pet snake who also couchsurfed at my apartment.  :)

I research my potential visitors well via their profile to see their references and I generally won’t host people without references or anyone that I don’t think would make for interesting company.  I don’t host everyone who asks and do it to my convenience. 

I’ve sang karaoke with a German chick at an all Spanish karaoke bar, I’ve found hidden bars in Chicago I’ve never known, I’ve walked for miles and miles directionless all over this city, I’ve stayed up until 5 a.m. to watch the sun rising over Lake Michigan, I’ve had socio-political debates, I’ve heard some amazing live music from surfers in the comfort of my own home, I’ve had amazing meals not prepared by me, I’ve gotten recommendations for future travel destinations and above all I’ve got friends all over the world waiting to host me someday.  J