Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Me. Show all posts

Sunday, October 7, 2012

The Spider Above My Head

LISTEN TO IT:

Background music: The Cinematic Orchestra, Awakening of a Woman

READ IT:
Melancholy looms over me like a spider hanging on a thread
I've been spun into its web; cocooned inside
I've been eating only the gnats and the flies
I've been faking it for the sake of congeniality
I've been acting as though my limbs don’t all connect back to me
I've been fearful of my own progress
I've been living inside my head instead of the present
I've been putting things in my body I cannot justify or defend
I've been battling my own duality

Oh Noble Tigress
Oh Regal Lioness
Remember your Divinity

I've been crossing busy streets without looking
I've been dancing in crowded bars just to feel bodies touching
I've been sneaking in fruits of pleasure from forbidden trees
I've been playing that same sad tape on repeat
I've been looking only through dirty windows
I've been acting as though that’s all that I deserve
I've been getting distracted by cheap shiny objects
I've been cocooned staring at a spider’s red under belly
Black Widow Black Widow
Passionate Woman
Unleash that Tigress; set her free
Watch that lioness consume the decay of me
It’s my unraveling

Beautiful Warrior:
So much love all around you
Widen the periphery of your heart
And see beyond
That melancholy looming over your head
Like a spider dangling on a thread

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Maybe...

Maybe she started eating meat after 13 years
Maybe she sold all of her furniture and the paintings too
Maybe she gave up coffee except for sometimes
Maybe she’s not who you thought she was
Maybe she gave away everything she worked hard to obtain
Maybe she understands that no one can really ever own anything
Maybe she’s ready to leave














Maybe she decided to get serious in the joyful way she’s serious about things
Maybe she’s really sorry for the damage done
Maybe she’s got her eye on the prize with a laser-like focus
Maybe she would still love to sing you to sleep
Maybe she knows moving forward means letting go of everything behind you
Maybe she thought of you while packing old pictures
Maybe she’s been feeling selfish lately
Maybe she wants to keep each moment to herself
Maybe she’s felt overexposed
Maybe she won't return your calls
Maybe she’s ready to put her Midwestern work ethic to the test
Maybe she’s breathing in life’s lessons
Maybe she’s learning to be patient
Maybe she’d be really happy to know you think of her sometimes
Maybe she needs to be alone for a while
Maybe she’s been feeling so damn grown lately
Maybe she’s done fucking around
Maybe she’s craving sobriety
Maybe the mountains did better for her than she thought
Maybe she had a moment of clarity
Maybe she’d forgive you
Maybe she’s been humbled
Maybe she could really use the support
Maybe she’s ready to be loved in ways she never let herself before
Maybe she’s learning to be honest with herself
Maybe she seeks truth in her actions
Maybe she’s learning honor and respect as verbs
Maybe she’s so different
Maybe she’s still the same, just evolving

Friday, August 20, 2010

This is how I need to be living

No joke.  I could do this and be quite happy and guess what?  MOUNTAINS!


You'd never think I was such a city girl from these pictures, would you?







Gorgeous moon...
Colorado 2009  

Hopefully my little adventure to Wisconsin this weekend will give me a good dose of country so I could love Chicago again.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Hi! Welcome to Chicago – it’s nice to meet you – here are the keys to my apartment.


So I belong to this website called Couchsurfing.  Couchsurfing is an online community where you can build a profile and then search for people in whatever city you are planning on visiting worldwide to host you.  

Hosting generally entails the following: lodging at your home and sharing cultural experiences as a native or resident of that particular place they are visiting.  Surfing means that you stay with a stranger and are prepared to see a new city from with a local perspective and twist.  The hosts can suggest great local hangouts where the Chicagoans really go as opposed to the tourist traps although there are the classic joints that visitors should check out which in my opinion include the following: deep dish pizza, Italian beef if you’re into the whole meat eating thing (I’m not, but I do live in a city who’s backbone has historically been the meatpacking industry), The Art Institute, The Field Museum etc.

Then of course my personal fave spots: Simones J, local Mexican joints here in Pilsen, Greektown, Little India by Devon, Wicker Park, The Green Mill, street festivals, downtown...  I also try to cater to each person’s individual agenda or taste. 

I love hosting for a number of different reasons.  I make new friends from all over the world and it’s a beautiful thing to share my home and life with an outsider and always leaves me with new perspectives from their point of view.  I learn about lot about different countries, different political systems from people who’ve lived there – not just read things in books.  It also gives me an opportunity to fall in love with Chicago.  For instance, at the beginning of the summer I had a young guy stay with me who was a comedian – he had a show here in Chicago and so we met up after work near the spot where his gig was at and I had the most amazing time laughing and getting introduced to the comedy culture in my own city. 

My biggest take-away from hosting was living in New Mexico for two months taking care of wolves.  After working at a dead-end corporate job that I hated for a year right after graduating from university I found myself stagnant and bored.  I had hosted this couple who told me about Wild Spirit Wolf Sanctuary and volunteering there and three months later I was on a plane to live with wolves myself: a life changing experience.





I’ve had visitors stay with me from all over the world: Australia, England, Germany, the Netherlands, Mexico, and Spain.  I’ve also had visitors stay with me from all over the United States from all walks of life.  I’ve had rich people stay with me, poor hippies travelling from city to city trying to find themselves, academics, self-taught prophets…it’s been an experience to say the least.  With each visitor my mind expands further and further while I realize how little I know.  It’s humbling, enlightening, and beautiful to connect with others in this fashion.

I’ve had varied reactions from friends when discussing how I participate on this site.  Generally, it’s something like: “I hope you don’t get murdered.”  Or “You’re not afraid that they will steal things from you?” or “that’s really cool – why do you do it?” Or “You’re so trusting of others – I could never do that.”

It’s not for everyone and I think to really belong to this type of community you have to be willing to have an open mind and an open heart for others.  You also have to understand that this isn’t a site where you can just go to someone’s home and crash there for a night ‘cause you’d rather not pay for a hotel – it’s a reciprocal type of thing.  Surfers have made me dinner, taken me out for a night on the town, cleaned my place, sent me gifts from their home countries or post cards or letters, maintained in contact, provided awesome business or life advice, and generally wanted to share experiences with me.
Alicia from Australia :)



Corey from California and her pet snake who also couchsurfed at my apartment.  :)


I research my potential visitors well via their profile to see their references and I generally won’t host people without references or anyone that I don’t think would make for interesting company.  I don’t host everyone who asks and do it to my convenience. 

I’ve sang karaoke with a German chick at an all Spanish karaoke bar, I’ve found hidden bars in Chicago I’ve never known, I’ve walked for miles and miles directionless all over this city, I’ve stayed up until 5 a.m. to watch the sun rising over Lake Michigan, I’ve had socio-political debates, I’ve heard some amazing live music from surfers in the comfort of my own home, I’ve had amazing meals not prepared by me, I’ve gotten recommendations for future travel destinations and above all I’ve got friends all over the world waiting to host me someday.  J