The Chicago Project: Validation and Humility

This past weekend I went to King’s Spa with some girlfriends of mine.  King’s Spa is a Korean spa so for the first part of the experience you get completely nude in a room full of other women to enjoy a steam room, showers and hot tubs.

King's Spa 

My girlfriends came up naked and we all looked at each other for a moment before one friend said: look at us; we’re beautiful.  We – as a whole – not based on this superficial notion of beauty but based on our willingness to share this experience with each other.

That set the tone: validation.

My friend has this tattoo on her arm: it says: do not seek outside of yourself in Latin.  I pondered this as an array of different bodies walked past me.  Body-positive experiences are something I’ve been intentional about having lately starting with the naked bike ride and taking my next steps with my yoga practice.

Throughout the evening I pondered the notion of validation within our society and seeking it from external factors.  I’m very guilty of this – as we all are.  I seek validation from the men I keep in my back pocket to make me feel attractive or the books I read to prove my intellectual prowess and the social circles I maintain to show some sort of status. Still, I keep coming to the same conclusion:  when you lose the ego you feel no need to be validated by others.

Humility is honest; it’s vulnerable and damn it, it’s scary.  It’s sitting naked in a hot tub and feeling at peace.  It’s telling the truth even when it hurts you to do so.  It’s smiling at a stranger on the street with no expectation of receiving a smile or recognition in return.  It’s walking into a room with quiet confidence knowing you have nothing to prove. 

It’s also very hard work as we fight against our conditioning in this society.  The ego likes to keep one safe.  The ego keeps my sunglasses on as I follow the beat of my heels hitting pavement attuned to my ipod making no human connections walking down my street.  The genuine me, however, wants to be honest, vulnerable and notice how lonely everyone really is and say, it’s okay, look at us; we’re beautiful.

The Chicago Project: Bridgeport

I love going to places alone. 

It’s an odd hobby that I must have picked up when I was 18 years old and had just moved to the city for the first time.  I remember how I was then – so young and fresh and wanting to experience everything – the people; the places; the day; the night…

I’ve come back to that girl it seems; the one that goes out on her bicycle late at night alone to check out the open mic night and perform for people that won’t ever know her name.  The comfort about strangers is that you don’t ever have to live up to anything.  You just share in a moment without clinging to identity…

This is one of the many reasons I love to travel alone.  I love traveling because of the complete uncertainty of where the journey will take you or who you will meet along the way; the exoticism of new places and the seduction of a moment in different vegetation and landscape.

So Chicago: how do I experience you as a tourist instead of a resident?

Let’s start in Bridgeport, a southside neighborhood not too far from Pilsen.  I walked into Bernice’s Tavern’s open mic night because I wrote a poem I was dying to read to a room full of strangers.  I was disappointed to find that it was only music.  I then scanned the room thinking about how poetry would probably not fly well here as I eyed the décor.  Signs that read: “work is the curse of the drinking class,” and “never trust a man that doesn’t drink,” permeated the walls.  I could hear thick Chicago accents over the Neil Young cover songs.  The Sox game was on in a tiny t.v. in the corner of the room.  Bridgeport is Sox country, make no mistake about it.

I knew immediately that there were two things I would not do here today:

1. Tell anyone I’m vegan 
2. Read my intense feminist poetry

Instead I noticed the little things one tends to when in a new place.

As a writer, it’s the external stimulation that drives you inward to put it all into words. It’s overhearing a conversation that inspires a poem or noticing the way the light dances on foreign walls over music. It’s reading the silence between the words; it’s contemplating life’s riddles as you watch the man and the woman in the corner whispering into each other’s ear…

Or, if you’re Bridgeport, it’s scanning the bar full of burly men in Bears and Blackhawks jerseys and baseball hats wondering if anyone is a secret Cubs fan. 

Deep thoughts.

More Chicago adventures to come throughout the summer!

Goddess File #34

I recently saw a film on Maria Luisa Bombal, the Chilean author who was never fully accepted in Chile for her provocative writings. This poem is dedicated to her.  It's not for the faint of heart.  You've been warned.

The boys come so easy

The men come so hard

And I’m your mother

Your sister

Your daughter

Your wife

Your lover

Past in present

Future tense

Sex

I’m a phone call

A voice

I am my body

My legs

Fishnets

I am a fantasy

Baby bottles

Breast feeding

What is it that you need?

Innocence of a child

With a seductive grin

Come one

Come all

Playground style

Do I scare you now?

I gave birth

To dead crows

And the levity

Of my laughter

makes you forget

That I am your sister

Your wife

Your lover

Strapped to a bed

Pushing baby stroller

Down dead ends

I am the whore

Blowing you in your car

I am the angel

Spiritually speaking

Spitting image

Virgin Mary

Can you handle me?

The boys always come so easy

The men come hard

Serpents, Men and our Dying Roles

My favorite topic came up on my date the other night.

“It’s just in this culture we’re socialized from a very early age to have a one-sided view of women.  Women are constantly oversexualized and then pinned against each other on the basis of physical beauty or other petty materialistic and superficial concerns.  Women do other things in the real world but the majority of our representation in the media is not representative of that.” I said.

“You know, Jen, it’s really hard for men too.  We used to be the providers, the protectors and the breadwinners.  Our roles were clearly defined, but what is the definition now?  Women can do everything by themselves.  Even in dating, men don’t know what women want anymore.  What can a man do for you that you can’t do for yourself?  Men are in a state of crisis right now,” he said.

I sat staring at my Malbec and thinking about all the one-sided dialogues I’ve had with myself all these years about the topic.  I hadn’t thought about how difficult it must be to be man.  When I was confronted with the question: why do women need men anymore? My mind went straight to: why does the moon need the sun?  Why does the ying need its yang?  Why does the soil need its seeds?

I did a walking meditation years ago.  I asked for God/The Spirit/ Pachamama to teach me about the masculine and the feminine energies.  My senses sharpened; the sounds became crisper and the forest was ALIVE.  I saw a serpent: phallic and long, slithering in front of the hallow crevice of a tree and immediately I understood.  In nature, the serpents protect the feminine: the caves, the crevices and the shallow earth.  Males are built externally and women internally.  The internal: those caves that encompass you and provide shelter through the storms or the great wombspace we all used to inhabit.

In today’s world of challenging social dynamics between the sexes we need our men to understand and protect the sacred.  We need them to plant seeds and watch how they grow.  We need them to bear witness to our differences with respect while women learn to see them with awe and wonder.  Today, we need them to listen and support our new roles.  In turn, we will love and respect theirs.

The masculine and feminine isn’t just a matter of men and women.  All men carry feminine energy and all women carry masculine energy.  As a society we must learn to live with our constant duality.  A man can enter that intuitive introspective space in his mind and a woman can assert her strength sprung into constant activity.

The revolution is barely starting and our liberation exists in limbo ebbing and flowing from one day to the next.  Men don’t have to ONLY be the providers anymore.  Instead they can choose to be much more than the typical male script and fully come into their own as whole and complete human beings.

Feminism never was just something for women.  It is for everyone that wants true freedom from oppression.

I myself am grateful for all men: the one who raised me gently; the ones who I call when my intuition failed me and I’m in a bind; the ones I don’t need to explain myself to and the ones that show up in front of my house for a late night bike ride to get me out of my head just when I need it.

The Evolution of Beauty

“Youth is beauty, money is beauty, beauty is beauty sometimes…”

-Ani DiFranco

We are brought up in a society that values the physical beauty of a woman sometimes more than other attributes such as intelligence, sensitivity, artistic ability or athleticism.  Often times women who are first or second generation in the U.S. fare worse with this because our active mother/father cultures tend to be more misogynistic. 

But you knew this.  You went to high school and you remember who the pretty popular people were, right?  They weren’t super cool because they had a bad case of acne.

We all know that story so I won’t tell it here.  What I do want to share is this: I am less concerned with being pretty; I want to be powerful. 

I’m not talking power in the western sense i.e. political power.  I’m talking the power of knowing yourself and your own merits without having to have anyone else validate them.  I’m talking about the power to know that your legs will carry you through rough roads because you’re strong and finding the beauty in that even if it doesn’t look like a postcard.  I’m talking about evolution. 

Know thyself, friends.

Poltical Manifesto

I know people who believe being patriotic means listening to all the messages the media sends us.  It means embracing capitalism in its current form, enjoying steak and potatoes and apple pie and supporting any big business because after all, corporations are so American.

I know people that are afraid to say what they really want to say when it comes to politics because they fear the repercussions on their career, status and circle of friends.  I felt fooled into that role for a minute and then I remembered what it was to be an American in the light of this mass movement: Occupy Wall Street.

Being American means you have a right to an opinion, a voice and the right to protest your government when you believe they are wrong. 

I’m not going to pretend to be intimately involved with the movement.  I’m not and in fact, only recently have I begun to pay attention.  What’s so unique about this movement is that it’s not a movement based on a single issue, but rather on the greater discontent of society as a whole.  It’s a multi-generational movement and yet I can understand those Gen Yers out there the most.

I was born in 1984.  I came of age in a period of disillusionment.  I have few friends that didn’t owe at least 15 grand by the time they were 22 and shot into the “real world” without much cushioning and consistent calls from loan collectors.  I was born into a world of shifting powers and globalization all of which contributed to my worldview.

This however, does not hinder my vision of the world I’d like to live in.  I thought I would breathe some life into this vision and share it with you.  Rather than say what is wrong with society, which I think we have a tendency to do too often, I am going to write what I’d like to see.  Politicians – take note:

1.      .  I want the people we elect to office to look more like real Americans.  This means they have average American salaries (the real average, not the congressional average which is NINE TIMES that of an American).  This of course, means that there must be political reform as to how we run our elections which can cost up to millions of dollars in media buys, marketing and staffing.   I want our politicians not just to mirror Americans economically but also racially and by gender as well.  I want more parity in our elected officials because I don’t believe I can be represented by a 65 year old millionaire white male. 
2.         I want universal health care for all.  How do we do this from a budget standpoint?  Here’s a suggestion: invest in holistic health care practitioners that address the underlying problem rather than the symptoms.  All healthcare practitioners should prescribe as much preventative medicine as possible.  This however, cannot happen if people cannot afford to get regular check-ups.  We are the ONLY industrialized nation in the WORLD that does not have universal health care for its people.  What does that say about the priorities of one of the richest countries in the world if it can’t even invest in the health of its people?
3.         I want less spending on war and more investment in green technology, education and small businesses.  It becomes a huge problem when the military industrial complex becomes far more powerful than the citizens, something I fear has already happened in our country. 
4.         I want my future children (if I have them – still concerned about the world’s overpopulation issue – largest threat on earth to mother earth) to grow up in a better society where are differences are celebrated rather than similarities rewarded.  What I mean by that is for people to stop talking about diversity and to live it; this means more diverse individuals in positions of power as authors, politicians, business leaders etc.
5.          I want a lot less sexism in every single media outlet worldwide.
6.          I want a lot less sexism in every single boardroom worldwide.
7.          I want the farming industry to stop putting chemicals in the soil.
8.          I want any animal farmed for its flesh to live full lives where they roam free, see sun, and eat what they are intended to eat i.e. cows eating grass instead of being force-fed corn which they can’t digest, etc. and killed with compassion for their being.  I want the FDA to regulate HUMANE practices across the board.  As Gandhi said: “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.”  
9.           More than anything, I want my American peers to rise up and do something about what they see wrong in this world.  That is what inspires me the most about Occupy Wall Street.  People standing up for what they believe in is what our nation is built on.  It’s not shopping malls and mass consumerism; it’s not corn-fed cows and hormone injected chickens, it is democracy.  This nation is built on the belief that majority rules and that belief is being challenged by the tiny minority.  I don’t want to live in a country where everyone is too comfortable, stagnant and placated on their i-pads and playstations anymore.  I demand much more.

Thank you to the OWS movement for the inspiration!  Everyone else, do with this, what you will and take action – join a movement, go vegan, spend less time watching television and more time campaigning for issues close to your heart.  Donate time or money to what you believe in and leave this world better than when you came into it. 

Love,

Jen

A patriotic American Citizen

Carnivorous Ladybugs and Hope for the Young Women of Mexico

“Did you know they’re carnivores?”

“Really?” I say while staring at a ladybug that fluttered right in front of me only to land on this gorgeous Agate necklace I was eying.

“They are good luck,” says the brown skinned woman in front of me.  She is younger, in her mid-twenties maybe, short and a little stocky.  She’s pretty with lovely cheekbones and thick black hair framing her face and falling to her mid-back.  She pulls out a bracelet with a coconut shell pendant that has the Om symbol on it.  “You seem like you’d like this,” she says.

I laugh, “Why do you say that?”

“I don’t know, something about your vibration…” she says.

I like her almost immediately. Not just because she’s flattered me, I know she just wants to sell me things and of course she’d pull the Om symbol for me.  I’m wearing a red silk string around my wrist with a Chinese white jade pendant on it.  My hair looks like the wild man of Borneo from the fun little bike ride I just had and I’m wearing a simple black tank top with rolled up jeans.  The Om symbol is probably a very likely guess for the skilled eye.  I know flattery is her expertise but it’s more that.  I like her.

We get over the basics about where I’m from and how I came here alone.  She is surprised that I’m biking on these “dangerous streets” and says I’m brave and I think to myself: if she only knew what biking at rush hour in Chicago was like.  I tell her about the places I’ve visited so far on this trip and how when in a new place I always try to ask the women for directions as a means of engaging them and seldom often do they even answer.  Sometimes they avoid eye contact all together so I won’t talk to them.  I’ve learned if I need directions in this country I need to speak with the men.

I told her about when I was in this little indigenous town near the ruins I asked a lady selling Mexican sweet bread for a recommendation as to which bread to buy.  She shyly nodded her head no, as though she had no idea which bread was good.  I told her that I was a non-discriminating bread lover and would love whichever one she recommended regardless.  She still refused to recommend one and barely spoke to me.  I knew she spoke Spanish because I had heard her earlier with one of her daughters.  I was puzzled as to why she wouldn’t speak to me.

“Yes, some women around here are like that.  They don’t feel comfortable speaking with strangers or are afraid to.  Some don’t think it’s their place to do so either.” She says.  “Not me though, I’m free.  I don’t have a husband telling me what to do and I have no children. I can travel and save up money and learn about the world by meeting people like you.”

“It’s so nice to meet a young woman who is independent and travels and has opinions and speaks up.” I say. 

“It’s good to be open, take advantage of traveling while you can, I really miss it.” She responds.

Of course, I ended up buying the necklace, two actually, and the Om bracelet.  I wear it every day, to remind me of her.  She gave me so much hope for the young women in Mexico.

Did you seriously just call me that? Do I know you?

To all the men that just meet me or have a casual friendship with me and think they have earned the right to call me babe: think again.

I am not your babe.  Furthermore, this makes you look incredibly sleazy and it annoys the hell out of me.  It is condescending.  How would you like it if I started calling you little pet names after just meeting you?

The worst ones TEXT you like “hey babe, thanks for that information – look forward to our meeting soon.”   Many things are wrong with this:

•          This is business.  I don’t call you sweetcheeks in communicating with you during a meeting or via email or text, do I?
•          You are texting me or emailing me and INTENTIONALLY TYPING the word babe.  You may think you’re being cute or hip because I’m young, but you are very mistaken.
•           Just because we are drinking and hanging out in a casual atmosphere does not give you the right to call me babe.  You can call me by my name, thanks.
•          Calling me a pet name must be EARNED – it is not given just because you deem yourself worthy.

Give a girl a break.  Don’t call me babe unless I’m dating you or you want to be called sweetcheeks in reply.

Let's Get Serious..

I've been having fun.  Lots of fun - as evidenced by my past few posts - most of which I think are hilarious, but something happened today.

I logged into my blog to see that I had lost a follower.  :(  This made me unbelievably sad.  So now, I will refrain from discussing the following topics as a result of the loss I'm experiencing:

• dead babies (yep...still keep thinkin' about them)
• feminism (writing a book instead)
• and  oil covered seagulls - (I guess some people might be sensitive to innocent animals suffering because of human interference with our environment).

On a serious note I found this awesome article about how men that do housework and have more egalitarian relationships with their female partners are happier in life.  Read more about this here.

If you read this and don't follow me - please follow me to make me feel better - it's kind of like losing a pet and then getting a replacement pet.  Will you be my replacement pet?  My life feels empty without you following!

Also, if you like my blog - pass it on!  Pass it on to your friends, family, dead babies (nah nevermind - they suck as followers), and the like.

You can follow my by pressing the follow button on the right hand side.

How to find a husband - tips from my mother

Mom:  "Jenny, will you please stop writing about feminism on your blog so much?  You will never find a husband that way.  Men don't like feminists.  I could put gas in my own car, but why should I when your father does it for me?  Sometimes it's nice to have men do things for you, they like it..."

Me:  "Okay, well I love it when men do things for me...I would never try to stop them, really.."

Mom: "Good, men don't like feminists.  Write about other things."

Me: (laughing hysterically at this point) "okay."

There you have it, friends.  This is my official last post on feminism because I've been known to be only the most obedient daughter.

I think I might write a book on feminism now..you know, to attract a husband.

Engine Oil and Feminism

I had a dream that my car had run out of oil and I was left stranded on some highway with the engine fuming.  I remembered my dream when I started to smell a burning on Interstate 55.  I freaked out and jumped lanes getting off at the next exit and heading to the nearest gas station.

I walked into the gas station stylin’.  I had started to feel sick this morning and spent the majority of my day in bed reading and drinking tea.  I was wearing my 17 year old cousin’s red hoodie, black pajama pants and purple slippers.  I hadn’t even bothered to put on real shoes.  I picked out some motor oil and waited in line.  The gentleman in front of me started a conversation with me as he gave the numbers he wanted to play to the attendant.  I asked him what he was planning on doing if he won.  He replied he would come and find me and take me out some place nice.  I laughed gesturing at my slippers.  He then told me not to worry about what I was wearing, that he’d get me out of my clothes first.  It was then that I responded, still laughing at this dude’s nerve to say something like that to me, that this conversation was over.  I paid for my oil and went back to my car.

One of my close guy friends accused me of being too flirtatious and then getting angry when someone crossed the line even though I had provoked that sort of response (please read here for more background).  He said it as though I had somehow “asked” to be treated with less respect than I thought I deserved.   I disagreed with him and even felt angry that he would think that.

My experience earlier this evening isn’t so unique or even interesting other than I had an epiphany while pouring oil into my engine.  Human beings learn from each other.  We learn from interacting with different people from different walks of life and engaging them in conversations or discussions.  While this man started a conversation with me, I wanted to participate.  People play the lotto all the time – but why (aside from the obvious reasons)?  I wanted to engage this man, curious of what his dreams were.  I wanted to participate in dialogue with the community around me.

If a man had asked the same question to this guy maybe they would have realized that they both want to buy the Chicago White Sox team or that they both want to invest in lobster boats or maybe this guy would have told him that he has always wanted to live in the north of Spain or something.  Maybe there would have been dialogue, maybe there would have been a connection – not as a race, not as a sex, but just as humans.

Feminism isn’t about praising women as these creatures wiser and nobler than the other half of the world.  It is not about superiority or control.  It’s about being seen as a human being and not as a gender or sex.  It’s about equality and egalitarianism.  It’s about freedom: the freedom to engage new people in conversations, the freedom to learn about the world around you and the freedom to participate actively in it.

I'm not angry about what men say to me; I'm angry because I can't participate as fully as I'd like to  in society because of the limitations that my sex carries.

Let's Evolve (for our daughters)

I'm re-posting this from a previous blog because obviously the world isn't listening fast enough:

I’d been debating whether I should blog about this type of thing or not, but part of the reason I started my blog was so that I could have a voice in a capacity that I am not normally able in other aspects of my life.  I work within the business community in Chicago.  A great deal of the type of work that I do has to do with developing strong business relationships with business owners and other stakeholders within the Hispanic business community.  I also happen to be a young woman and I like to go out and have a good time by which I mean go out with friends, colleagues, etc. and have a couple of drinks while getting to know each other better or at an event etc. 

It has been more than once that certain men within this community have tried to leverage their position or the role they play within my current network as an excuse to be able to behave inappropriately towards me or towards other women.  It’s become increasingly frustrating for me to deal with and all the while I keep asking myself why I should have to deal with it. 

It’s a catch-22 situation with so many shades of gray.  There have been many many times when I’d like to tell the person exactly what I think porque "no tengo pelos en la lengua," however I’m increasingly cautious of the nature of business relationships and knowing the type of animal I am dealing with.  Most of the time these men that behave so inappropriately are so threatened by women’s power or by feminine energy that politely telling them to please never touch you again or to please fuck off is a direct threat to their masculinity. (Of course I wouldn't say it that way..but I'd want to)  Most of these men are dealing with so much insecurity that to threaten their masculinity in a public place among colleagues and friends would cause the type of reaction that can be explosive and incredibly mean.

As a young woman in business all I have is my reputation.  I need to be incredibly protective of it.  I am careful of the circles I am around and try and keep those circles tight.  Rejecting the advances of someone who is influential within this type of community and that has a strong voice within the organizations and corporations that I work with calling you a man-hating feminist or bitch generally doesn’t preserve your reputation.  Also, when so much in this world is based on perception and not reality; the smoke and mirrors of who you are becomes quite the ugly picture.  I would hate for all the amazing men that I know, that can call themselves feminists, that do their best for their sisters and daughters and wives to help advance other young women in business without having to play this game, to think of me as something so far from what I actually am.

So I sit back, biting my tongue, lumps forming in my throat out of anger, and smile sweetly laughing along to the disgusting conversation while sinking deeper into my chair.  What can I do?  If I ask them to please not speak to me in that manner in the nicest way, then I become the prude that everyone feels they need to be careful around to protect my feelings and that's not who I am.  I’m simply a rational human being that hates having to put up with other peoples’ issues or bullshit simply because I was born 26 years ago a woman.  I make sure they feel my icy reaction not encouraging their behavior, but am I condoning it by not saying anything?  Have I become part of the game that I hated?

I am so grateful to all the women that came before me in business for paving the way so that I could work within this world and feel around me an endless sea of possibilities.  We still have so much work to do but now it’s up to me and the intelligent women of my generation to do it.

I had had quite a few close calls with men in the past while traveling by myself in Mexico and in Spain.  They upset me at the time so much but they were “cultural differences” or “cultural misunderstandings.”  I was different; I came from a world where women could say what they want, could be free, could travel by themselves and have a great conversation with someone of the opposite sex and it not mean she was wanting anything more.  Now, I see this in my community and my own backyard and the issue is more complex than what I ever imagined.  It's imbedded in all societies in some capacity and it's going to be a long hard road to change it, but I've got my walking shoes on and I'm in it for the long haul.

Fuerza to all of my sisters!

I leave you with this poem I wrote when I was 19:

When I was younger I used to turn my turtle onto her shell just to watch her extend her neck and flip herself over.  Now I’m rolling out of someone else’s bed with the taste of vodka and cigarettes in my too-dry mouth remembering voices praying a thousand Santa Marias in the living room of my abuela’s house the day she died.  My parents used to carry wooden rosaries, my brother and I would carry thick fallen branches we’d find in the woods.  They always gave me splinters and made my hands feel dirty but it wasn’t as bad as the time I stood, just barely, pushed against a fence my hands forced over my head by a stronger hand, while the other wandered around my chest looking for what other secret places he could find next…my hamster used to dig into the wooden chips of his cage to try to escape, but he never did like I did, into this giant ant colony of a city and life is writing me Post-It notes:

• ·         Don’t forget to pay your rent
• ·         Remember how he loved you once?
• ·         And so Jen…who are you now?

this article just pissed me off

How are these jobs the 25 best paying jobs for women if the most a woman can make here is 86.6% of what men make?

It's fuckin ridiculous that we are in 2010 and that we still have these strong pay disparities. I guess women's lib didn't catch up with our paychecks. I've got to get back to work...

http://www.theworkbuzz.com/employment/best-paying-jobs-for-women/

25 best-paying jobs for women
By Kate Lorenz on May 4, 2010 in Employment, Featured, Salary
When you look at Forbes magazine’s most recent list of highest-paid CEO’s (chief executives of the 500 biggest companies in the United States), you won’t see a woman until No. 48: Irene B Rosenfeld, CEO of Kraft Foods. In a country where women make up 47 percent of the workforce, 3 percent of Fortune 500 CEO’s are female. In addition, women who worked full time earned an average of just 80 percent of what men earned in the same positions in 2008, according to the BLS.

But is salary disparity between genders the issue or is it something else?

In the Harvard Business Review blog, Avivah Wittenberg-Cox wrote: “Women represent one of the world’s biggest and most under-reported opportunities. The business world has been so focused on stories like the rise of China that it has not been invited to see that, much closer to home, business could be reaping the benefits of the rise of women. Companies — and their business school feeders — have been slow in adapting and profiting from this shift, and part of the reason is that media too often focus on small, sensational and misleading parts of the story, including aspects like the wage gap.”

Catalyst’s February 2010 Pipeline’s Broken Promise report examining high potential graduates from top business schools around the world found that, even after taking into account experience, industry and region, women start at lower levels than men, make on average $4,600 less in their initial jobs, and continue to be outpaced by men in rank and salary growth. Only when women begin their post-MBA career at mid-management or above do they achieve parity in position with men — a situation that accounted for only 10 percent of the women and 19 percent of the men surveyed.

Whatever the cause, the BLS reports there are only a handful of occupations where women’s earnings are equal to or exceed men’s including construction and extraction occupations; special education teachers; installation, maintenance and repair occupations; life, physical and social science technicians; and counselors.

We wanted to know, what jobs pay women the most money? Here are 25 jobs where women earn $1000 a week or more, according to the BLS, and how those wages compare to their male counterparts’.

Pharmacists
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,647
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,914
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 86.1%

Chief executives
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,603
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,999
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 80.2%

Lawyers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,509
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,875
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 80.5%

Computer software engineers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,351
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,555
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 86.9%

Computer and information systems managers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,260
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,641
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 76.8%

Physicians and surgeons
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,230
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,911
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 64.4%

Management analysts
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,139
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,391
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 81.9%

Human resources managers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,137
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,433
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 79.3%

Speech-language pathologists
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,124
Men – Median weekly earnings: *
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: **

Computer and mathematical occupations
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,088
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,320
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 82.4%

Computer scientists and systems analysts
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,082
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,240
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 87.3%

Physician assistants
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,077
Men – Median weekly earnings: **
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: **

Medical and health services managers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,066
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,504
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 70.9%

Physical scientists, all other
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,061
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,535
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 69.1%

Postsecondary teachers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,056
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,245
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 84.8%

Marketing and sales managers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,024
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,601
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 64%

Physical therapists
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,019
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,329
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 76.7%

Occupational therapists
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,016
Men – Median weekly earnings: **
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: **

Registered nurses
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,011
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,168
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 86.6%

Managers, all other
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,010
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,359
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 74.3%

Psychologists
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,004
Men – Median weekly earnings: **
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: **

Computer programmers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,003
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,261
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 79.5%

Architecture and engineering occupations
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,001
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,286
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 77.8%

Advertising and promotions managers
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,000
Men – Median weekly earnings: **
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: **

Education administrators
Women – Median weekly earnings: $1,000
Men – Median weekly earnings: $1,398
Women’s earnings as percent of men’s in same occupation: 71.5%

What do you think? Do you agree or disagree? Are males and females paid the same at your organization?
*No data or data that do not meet publication criteria.

** Data not shown where the male employment base is less than 50,000.