My Hands

My hand gravitates towards yours

As though you were a furnace

On the coldest day of the year

I keep my hands to myself

My body remembers you

Every cell wants to joyfully leap outside of me

My olfactory senses indulge in a familiarity

Rarely ever felt to me

I keep my body to myself

I am an energetic ball of restraint

For fear of rushing in full force

And never bouncing back

And I am terrified

I keep my energy to myself

  

A natural inclination to lay my head on your chest

Fall into an embrace like a child to a mother’s breast

Like your strong arms can hold me

I keep my head to myself

My stomach has collected more butterflies today

Than it has all year

And I like the way you look at me

I keep my heart to myself

I am laughing it off when you discuss other women

And everything in your life that doesn't include me

Using all of my will just to brush it off casually

When really I just want you to

Remember all those little things

That make up me

Like the fact that I’ll never really give up coffee

But I’ll keep trying

And my brow’s arch so slightly when I’m focusing

How I always say obscenities in Spanish

But only when I’m angry

I always laugh at my own jokes

When no one else thinks it’s funny

The way my tongue presses against my front teeth

When I’m smiling

And all I really want to do

Is lie down here with you

With my fingers caressing your face

But I keep my hands to myself

Serpents, Men and our Dying Roles

My favorite topic came up on my date the other night.

“It’s just in this culture we’re socialized from a very early age to have a one-sided view of women.  Women are constantly oversexualized and then pinned against each other on the basis of physical beauty or other petty materialistic and superficial concerns.  Women do other things in the real world but the majority of our representation in the media is not representative of that.” I said.

“You know, Jen, it’s really hard for men too.  We used to be the providers, the protectors and the breadwinners.  Our roles were clearly defined, but what is the definition now?  Women can do everything by themselves.  Even in dating, men don’t know what women want anymore.  What can a man do for you that you can’t do for yourself?  Men are in a state of crisis right now,” he said.

I sat staring at my Malbec and thinking about all the one-sided dialogues I’ve had with myself all these years about the topic.  I hadn’t thought about how difficult it must be to be man.  When I was confronted with the question: why do women need men anymore? My mind went straight to: why does the moon need the sun?  Why does the ying need its yang?  Why does the soil need its seeds?

I did a walking meditation years ago.  I asked for God/The Spirit/ Pachamama to teach me about the masculine and the feminine energies.  My senses sharpened; the sounds became crisper and the forest was ALIVE.  I saw a serpent: phallic and long, slithering in front of the hallow crevice of a tree and immediately I understood.  In nature, the serpents protect the feminine: the caves, the crevices and the shallow earth.  Males are built externally and women internally.  The internal: those caves that encompass you and provide shelter through the storms or the great wombspace we all used to inhabit.

In today’s world of challenging social dynamics between the sexes we need our men to understand and protect the sacred.  We need them to plant seeds and watch how they grow.  We need them to bear witness to our differences with respect while women learn to see them with awe and wonder.  Today, we need them to listen and support our new roles.  In turn, we will love and respect theirs.

The masculine and feminine isn’t just a matter of men and women.  All men carry feminine energy and all women carry masculine energy.  As a society we must learn to live with our constant duality.  A man can enter that intuitive introspective space in his mind and a woman can assert her strength sprung into constant activity.

The revolution is barely starting and our liberation exists in limbo ebbing and flowing from one day to the next.  Men don’t have to ONLY be the providers anymore.  Instead they can choose to be much more than the typical male script and fully come into their own as whole and complete human beings.

Feminism never was just something for women.  It is for everyone that wants true freedom from oppression.

I myself am grateful for all men: the one who raised me gently; the ones who I call when my intuition failed me and I’m in a bind; the ones I don’t need to explain myself to and the ones that show up in front of my house for a late night bike ride to get me out of my head just when I need it.

I love men

I love men.  I know I never talk about this except for the time when I wished I was a man, but I really truly love men.  

Feminism has nothing to do with men and everything to do with equality.  It’s much more of an egalitarian philosophy rather than a bashing of a particular sex.  I have many male friends that call themselves feminists.  Plus, I love men.  I talk about them all the time.   They are beautiful creatures.

Here are the top ten things I love about the men in my life:

1. They make me think and give me different perspectives
2. They make me laugh until I’m heaving and then make fun of me because I sound like I’m having an asthma attack.
3. They don’t sweat the small stuff and make sure I don’t either.
4. They call me to make sure I’ve checked my old car to see if it has enough oil.
5. They are supportive of my endeavors and try to help me both in my career and personally.
6. They are wonderful friends.  They really know how to listen and are sweet.
7. I’m blessed to have an amazing father and a great older brother that I know are there at the drop of a pin if I need something.
8. They keep it simple and don’t overcomplicate matters.
9. Talking business with them is fun.
10. They are just as dedicated to making the women in their life as successful as possible as I am.

So here's a thank you and I love you to all the amazing men in my life.